Emotional Day

Cs birthday is always an emotional time for me. He had a difficult birth and was put in the neonatal unit of the hospital. So my first 3 days of motherhood, I spent fighting with doctors and nurses for the right to breastfeed and in the end I won. I got to have him with me in my room at the hospital and nurse him and his jaundice myself. I did this for 10 days. First sitting in the neo unit holding my hand on him for the first day and then rolling his little cot to my room for every feed and then doing it all on my own. No not on my own, O was there, but not during night times, because he wasn't allowed.. Feeding every 3 hours, he was so tiny and sleepy, so I had to tickle his toes all the time while feeding him, first from me and then pouring with a tiny neo cup. Then put him all bare without any clothes in a cot, under a lamp and bubble wrap. One hour of pumping and then do it all over again in 1h and 30min. For 7 days.

I have tried to write about this experience today, but I don't manage to do it without writing a whole novel and I will spare you all details.

My little monkey, so tiny and fragile, completely stealing my heart when he arrived in our lives, is now 6years old. A big boy who knows what he wants. The evening before his birthday he wanted a "rehersal" of the morning celebrations. O and I reassured him that we did know the Happy Birthday song and that he was not to worry.. ;)

"Ok, then. But we have to check that we all fit in my bed for breakfast!" So we did.