The Pain of a Child

There is nothing more painful than watching someone destroy your child's spark of life. To see your beautiful boy, so full of trust in his own abilities and other people, come home from school with empty eyes because someone, who are supposed to nurture him and make him grow doesn't think he is worth it. Why, still beats me.

Today, my son did his last school day at his Junior School. I have been writing about our experience during the past months (and yet not posted it all, will do) and for me it feels important to tell my story to anyone considering putting their child in a school.

I just have one word for you: Do your research.

Today, as the last possibility was given Cs teacher, apologize to C or to humiliate me as a parent (whichever she has always chosen the second alternative), she told me that she had no idea that C was leaving (i e letting me know that I should have warned her). I explained patiently that since she

A) refused to discuss any other method of encouraging my son to feel good about himself at school other than loudly exclaiming in front of himself and his class at pick up that he was sooo slow. And similar remarks.

B) that she upon receiving our withdrawal notice over a month ago, has chosen not to mention it to us by any way.

C) It emerged this weekend that she is in fact using phrases like "Shut up, blue table!!" quite regularly, we thought, right that's it.

She made it clear that she was aware of a reading book that C had home earlier this week at home and that she was concerned that I would keep it...*Yes, that was indeed my plan. After paying this private Edinburgh Junior School several hundreds of pounds a month for education, my revenge plan would be to steal a 5year old's reading book by the name of "The Reindeer", of 16 pages.

I am amazed to what lengths people can go to not have to say: "I apologize." Because this is all about the shortcomings of a school who doesn't give one singe thought about putting their "catch phrase" to work in reality.

The school wants to be perceived as a school where individuality is a key word. That their environment has the warmth of a family rather than a big school environment and that their teachers are fully qualified to nurture your child due to their excellent skills in fulfilling the individual needs of every pupil.

I beg to differ.

Photo hunt - Thirteen

I haven't had time to even think about the photo hunt this week. Today we had a birthday party for C. 18 children were in my and my husbands care for 90 minutes. 90 wonderful minutes for my son, 90 minutes of aerobics and full use of our negociation skills for me and my husband... It was a long time since I felt so exhausted as when the party was over.

As we got home, C opened all his presents. He lined all the big cards up on the mantel piece and counted them. 13 cards, he announced. *Aha, I thought*. So I am joininng the photo hunt this week anyway. ;)

To view more photo hunt contributions, please look here.

Emotional Day

Cs birthday is always an emotional time for me. He had a difficult birth and was put in the neonatal unit of the hospital. So my first 3 days of motherhood, I spent fighting with doctors and nurses for the right to breastfeed and in the end I won. I got to have him with me in my room at the hospital and nurse him and his jaundice myself. I did this for 10 days. First sitting in the neo unit holding my hand on him for the first day and then rolling his little cot to my room for every feed and then doing it all on my own. No not on my own, O was there, but not during night times, because he wasn't allowed.. Feeding every 3 hours, he was so tiny and sleepy, so I had to tickle his toes all the time while feeding him, first from me and then pouring with a tiny neo cup. Then put him all bare without any clothes in a cot, under a lamp and bubble wrap. One hour of pumping and then do it all over again in 1h and 30min. For 7 days.

I have tried to write about this experience today, but I don't manage to do it without writing a whole novel and I will spare you all details.

My little monkey, so tiny and fragile, completely stealing my heart when he arrived in our lives, is now 6years old. A big boy who knows what he wants. The evening before his birthday he wanted a "rehersal" of the morning celebrations. O and I reassured him that we did know the Happy Birthday song and that he was not to worry.. ;)

"Ok, then. But we have to check that we all fit in my bed for breakfast!" So we did.

Ordlös Onsdag: 366 Challenge 102: Paint

I love painting... Doing a 2in1 today again.

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366 Challenge 29: Challenge

I have decided to quit sugar. I have a real sweet tooth, so it's quite a challenge. When I looked at my breakfast a couple of days ago, I thought it looked rather tasty. Greek yogurt with only cinnamon on. *yum*

I started this about a week ago and I am already feeling the benefits (well, now that my sugarcraving headache has stopped..) ;)

366 Challenge 220: Bridge

On Sunday, when we were driving home from the airport, we suddenly decided not to take the motorway back to our city, but the small tourist route instead. It wasn't really that pretty (as many other areas around here) and we were thinking that maybe we should have taken the high road. Suddenly O did a wrong turn and we ended up driving past this beautiful bridge. He did his Uturn and I took my picture (s) on our way back on the road again.

This picture was taken while the car was still moving, there was not qn option to stop and get out of the car with two children in the back seat, because then we would have heard the usual : "J också fömma me!!" *J too!!*

Ordlos Onsdag

My shopping finds

We had a really good day yesterday. What kept me through the day was Pressbyran (of all things). As soon as I felt down, I thought of Friday night.

We had been to the local "pizzeria" in our village and we stopped by Pressbyrån (the seven-eleven store). O and the children stayed in the car and I went inside to rent a movie. As I stepped out I just had one of those moments when things fall into place and you see the beauty of things. The pier just beside the shop was deserted except for our car. The sky was beautiful, still colourful, just after the sunset, shining in a blueish pink shade and I could see the black silouettes of the houses on the island further out at sea. The sea was completely calm, glistening beautifully and the air was so crisp and fresh.

I felt such a kick at that moment, I have been embracing that moment the past two days whenever I have been having a low moment. And it has worked wonders!

It also helps to think of the little shopping finds I did, before I left for UK. A beautiful kitchen shelf, some gorgeous kitchen towels and a pretty jug.

Ok, so not exactly wordless today, but this is never the less my contribution for today. To view more Ordlos onsdag contribution, look here.

The Return

Yesterday we took our flight back. I was wondering what it would feel like to see our "new home town", but I didn't have to wonder for too long. I didn't make it longer than to the carpark at the airport until I started sobbing uncontrollably. A good thing the children where already in the car, happily singing away to one of their favorite CDs.

So, our return has not been the most cheerful one. Before we left for Sweden, the contract with our new flat went down the drains. They refused to mention the private garden in the contract and "we've been down that road before", so we pulled out. Cs school is also behaving extremely badly, so maybe it wasn't that strange that it all felt pretty lousy yesterday.

Today, we've had a really quiet day. C happily playing with all his toys, J not so happy*very tired from the trip yesterday* whining mostly, O working and me mostly wandering around the flat with a massive headache trying to think of our future. I have started to think "what are we doing up here when O is down in Big City..."

Enough with the whining. Every cloud has a silver lining..it is bound to get better, right? I must admit, the view when flying in over our new part of the country was breathtaking with snowcapped mountains as far as you could see.

Photohunt - Glass & 366 Challenge 284: Glass

My favorite glass tea light holder placed on my favorite patio chair from our summer house in Sweden. I noticed afterwards that the back of the chair is featured on the front of the tea holder. An exciting feature I wasn't aware of when taking the picture!

I am doing a 2in1 today as glass also is on my 366 challenge list. You can view more photo hunt contributions here.

Birthday Boy II

This morning was all planned out by the children. We were going to make breakfast and sing for O in the morning. J was so excited, so instead of the usual 7.30, she woke me up at 6 wanted to sing for daddy...O also had the honour of sleeping on the sofa due to C spinning around in our bed all night...

C and J had made cards for O during the week *you can see J's card on the picture*.


Yesterday my dad was here picking up my grandmother to drive her home. He also brought C his birthday present (he is turning 6 in 2weeks time), a mega surprice, a bike! J also got a tricycle. They were very proud.

366 Challenge 319: Hand

I have just spent a couple of days with the children and my 88-year old grandmother. I really cherish these moments we get together every now and then. She absolutely adores the children (and they her) and it's lovely to see them together. She has whole-heartedly thrown herself into any game they have made up, making pancakes for us and making all sorts of arts and crafts.

Today C was sitting in the sofa watching telly holding her hand and I asked them to put their hands on the table and although Cs hand is little bit too grubby for photography, I really like how this one turned out. A 6year old and an 88year old sharing a moment.

Ordlös Onsdag: 366 Challenge 190: Farm Yard

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